I’ve been trying to put into words all of the things that one little book taught me and made me feel and inspired in me. That book is “Paperdoll,” by Natalie Lloyd. It’s about a phenomenon that happens to all of us girls. We know the truth and most days we can live by it. But other days it’s not as simple. We become obsessed with what the world thinks of us and expects of us. We put on our fake face and pretend to be something we’re not. Natalie compares this to paperdolls, those fragile toys that can become anything we want them to, look like anything we want them to (as long as it’s completely flawless).
In her book, Natalie focuses on the story of the woman by the well that Jesus stopped by to talk to. To be honest, this Bible story was never really my favorite. I never really gathered anything from reading it. Natalie, however, brings this familiar story into a whole new light by digging deeper into it and including a lot of interesting historical information about it. She breaks it down so that it becomes clearly relevant to us as young women. You’ll find that you have a lot more in common with the woman by the well than you thought! “Paperdoll” is the perfect balance of Biblical information and personal experiences from Natalie’s life. Her style of writing is so unique. It is obvious that she puts her heart into each word, painting pictures and reaching out to her readers in every beautiful sentence. She reminds us that we no longer have to live our lives in fear and insecurity and pain: “We can walk in the confidence, grace, and beauty of a woman who is infinitely loved by the God of the universe.”
“Paperdoll” covers such a variety of topics that touch our lives- love, beauty, dark and difficult times, worship, romance, materialism, and more. God has spoken to me so much through this book, but there are a few parts in particular.
I love the chapter called “Waiting for Gilbert.” It seems that one of the major places that the woman by the well had gone searching for love and acceptance was in relationships, particularly with men. You probably remember that she had had five husbands, and she wasn’t even married to the man that she was living with at the time. This chapter (titled after the handsome, clever, and kind Gilbert Blythe) talks about how we girls often look to guys for the kind of love and fulfillment that only God can give. This issue is such a huge part of my life right now. No, I don’t go chasing after guys. But probably the deepest desire in my heart is to fall in love with Mr. Right, get married, and have a family. I am guilty of spending way too much of my time dwelling on this, daydreaming and getting emotionally attached when I come across a guy who has the potential to be Mr. Right, and mistakenly believing that the right guy will complete me. I feel convicted when I see other girls who are wonderfully in love with God and seem to feel no pain at still being single. Natalie writes: “The first myth is that we should never, ever long for true love if we’re living in the fullness of Christ.” What a relief to know that I can be in love with Christ but still long for marriage and my future husband’s love! And then there’s the part that Natalie calls “Monkey’s Paw Theology.” I was shocked when I read her words about that, because they were identical to what I had thought so many times: “I try to hide my loneliness from Him, thinking that if He sees my real desire, He will dangle love in front of me and then take it away…They believe if they tell Him their deepest dreams and desires, He’ll make them wait even longer to find someone.” I know that God is love. I know that He is not cruel and teasing. But sometimes I’ve sat, unable to find the words to pray, because I’ve been afraid that if I completely turn over my love life to him, it’s like admitting that I don’t really want to fall in love. The realization that someone else has been through this, too, is such a comfort to me.
There is a section about being a chronic church girl, which I have definitely been during my life. Even though it is a huge blessing to be raised in a Christian home and involved in church from our earliest days, we have to be extra careful not to become complacent and take our relationship with God for granted. Natalie also writes about how most of us girls are constantly waiting for a certain point in our lives. I was waiting to get my driver’s license. I was waiting to graduate high school and to start college. Now I’m waiting to finish college, for my sewing business to pick up, to meet my future husband. Natalie says, ““Most of us are like that, don’t you think? We’re waiting to fall in love. We’re waiting for the moment we set foot on foreign soil for the first time, or the day we see our book on a shelf, or the day we hold a baby in our arms. It’s easy to wrap up life flat on a page like that-a long list of Cinderella moments somewhere out in the future, but never close enough to touch.” I don’t want to keep living in the future, do you? I’m ready to realize that my life is happening now, and if I’m always waiting for someday, I will miss everything.
So, if I haven’t made it obvious, Natalie Lloyd’s book has really had an impact on my life and on my relationship with my Savior. There is even a great resources section at the back, with questions, Scriptures, song suggestions, websites, and more. It’s a book that I highly recommend for any women, but especially teen girls and young women. You’ll find yourself reading it over and over.
“Paperdoll” makes me want to be the best I can be. It makes me want to pick up my Bible again and get lost in a good worship song. It makes me want to walk with my head up and start living my life the way God intended for me to instead of standing on the sidelines, bogged down with insecurity, waiting for “someday.” Finally, here is a last bit of encouragement from Natalie’s book:
“Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Move into your life with courage, not fear. Start living like a girl who is loved. Don’t waste any more time.”
You can find Kristin here. Thanks so much!
That was amazing!
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